Put the ‘boo’ in booty call: how to turn a hook-up into a boyfriend

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As you hear the front door close, you glance over at the clock: 6:46 a.m. Wow, that’s a new record for him. After this realization, you then begin to dissect the meaning of every text message he sent you before he drunkenly arrived at your doorstep at 2 a.m. Did he really want to see you? Did he just want a booty call? Maybe he is starting to really fall for you? I mean…this is the second time he’s called this week. #datingstruggles

The Internet has changed the way we meet people. If you meet someone through a friend, it’s an absolute must that you Facebook stalk him/her. After all, you have to check under the hood of the car before you buy it. Not to mention, with apps like Tinder, you literally have options at your fingertips.

But with so many options, how can people choose? Hook-ups are now becoming the norm, unfortunately. So, what do you do when you’re in a situation where you want to become more than just a drunken call at 3 a.m.? What do you do when the person you’ve devoted all your time and effort to doesn’t want to reciprocate your desire for an exclusive relationship? Try these tactics, and if you’re still a drunken call…abandon ship.

Don’t sell yourself short.

Here’s one of the greatest dating secrets of all time: Every girl is the “cool girl” when they first meet someone. Yes, they’re the “girl that’s not like every other girl.”

But while it’s natural to want to put your best foot forward when getting to know a someone, don’t sell yourself short. Every girl is so worried about not being labeled as “crazy,” and they let too much slide–blowing you off, calling you late, etc. If he is blatantly being disrespectful  in any way, don’t allow him. He can’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself. You’re not that “crazy” girl for demanding respect.

Two can play that game.

It’s human nature; we want what we can’t have—when we get it, we hardly want it anymore. The chase is what makes it fun. While you may have mistakenly hooked-up a time or two, do not give him everything he wants every time he calls. Make him work for it. Some guys don’t want to waste their time on mind games, but if you are really starting to care about him—and you think there is potential for the hook-up to blossom into more—play hard to get and see how he reacts.

A dash of personality.

When you start a hook-up relationship, there’s not much wining and dining going on. And while things may have started casual, you’re tired of him not seeing you as more. Maybe it’s because you’ve been so worried about being the “cool girl,” you haven’t even revealed who you really are. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, even if the relationship is in the ‘casual’ stage. There’s no need to stash all your books, junk food and sappy movies out of sight before he arrives. It’s who you are. If he doesn’t like it, he can find another Tinder swipe.

You’re not desperate.

Even if you want your hook-up to become more, you’re not desperate. He is not the last man on the planet and you don’t need him like you sometimes think you do. You need to consider that you can be just as desirable. Just like him, other people want you, too. Don’t hook up with half the bar to get your point across, but hold your head high with confidence knowing that while you’re not exclusive, you’re not desperate either. This is just as much your decision as it is his.

Unleash your inner Queen B.

Society has programmed us to think that men have the control in a hook-up relationship. They call the shots. Wrong. Again, this is your choice, as well. You’re independent and successful, and you certainly don’t need a man—it’s just for fun. Once he sees that you’re confident in who you are and what you want from life, he’ll have more respect for you.

Remember: mutual respect and friendship are the two necessary ingredients to concoct the perfect relationship cocktail.

Image via We Heart It

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Alyssa Samson is an editor and writer who has an unusual obsession with volcanoes. After receiving a BA from the University of Denver in 2011 and an MSJ from Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism in 2012, she now works endlessly to become the next Bill Nye the Science Guy. Her short-lived glory days included being bitten by a woodchuck as a former zookeeper, and writing an article on Yellowstone’s volcanism for National Geographic. She prides herself in the fact that her credit score is phenomenal, and that she has read the Harry Potter series seven times. You can reach Alyssa on Twitter: @Sams6064.